I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
