Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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