I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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