I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
