Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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