dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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