i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize