Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
