dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
