SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
