Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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