have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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