ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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