Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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