I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize