Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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