I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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