In the future we'll all be gay
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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