Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
