I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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