Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
