new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
