And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I met the friendliest cop last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
