Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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