girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
