My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
