Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
