So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
