I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize