This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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