Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
two words...techno handjob
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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