I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
