When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
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This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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