i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
