The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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