Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
