I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
