When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
