Already got asked if we're dating
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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