whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
