I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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