Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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