You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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