Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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