Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
