words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
