then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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