I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
