i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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