bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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