this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I DEMAND FORESKIN
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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