Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
