Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
