I got chris browned last night
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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