Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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