i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
