margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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