The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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