But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
