You really coming over, don't trick.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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