Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
