have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I understand Curling. That high.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
