I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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