she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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