My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
