Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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