i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
