If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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