How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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